Last day in NOLA

Our last day in New Orleans has been clear and sunny and in the mid 70's, with just a little breeze to keep things cool. Jenny and I have spent a lot of time outside soaking it in before our departure to Maine tomorrow. I probably won't see these temperatures again until June some time... but that's okay, I'm ready... anxious even... to go home.The follow up appointment with Dr. Sullivan went fine. He removed the last of the wires from my chest, and I am left with just two drains coming from by hip area. I'll have those in another three weeks or so. Fortunately they are pretty easy to disguise under a loose top. He says things are healing nicely, and I told him how very pleased I am with the results. He said that we could fix a few little details at Phase 2 -when I have the nipples done... if I want. Right now it's hard to imagine wanting anything other than a couple of nipples - things are looking so good already, and it's only been a week. Besides, if things are too perfect, it won't really look natural will it?

Jenny and I had breakfast and lunch in the French Quarter today and spent a lot of time poking around in various shops and galleries. It was a lot of fun, and we saw some beautiful antiques and art. Finally at 2pm I ran out of gas, so we took the streetcar back to the hotel. Here are a few pictures I snapped during our outing today.

This trip has been amazing for two reasons. First, I feel as though I have been transformed. Yes, my surgical scars are still red and puffy, and there is plenty of bruising... but when I look in the mirror I feel as though I am healing the final wounds from breast cancer. Even though the cancer has been gone from my body for two years now, I haven't been able to really let go of it until now. Yes, my body has changed, my awareness has changed, and the core of my being has changed from the experience... but I feel as though the worst of the physical and psychological damage that was done, has now been repaired. I am incredibly grateful to my friends Brian and Anna for telling me about The Breast Center... and feel as though it is impossible to express my gratitude to Dr. Sullivan who sculpted the new me. He listened with compassion, did a perfect job, and did it humbly.... "all in a day's work". It sounds corny to say that this feels like a turning point in my life... but it really does. I cannot describe to you how it feels to lay awake in the dark and feel that I have two warm, living breasts on my chest again. Such a personal part of me that was taken away by a vicious and evil disease, has now been returned to me. For two years I really never thought this would happen... but now it has and I feel extremely happy and grateful.

The second thing that has made this trip wonderful is discovering New Orleans. It is a beautiful, diverse city that does not feel like a city. The people who live here are passionate about it, and there is the same sense of community that I feel in little old Gardiner Maine. Residents are incredibly friendly and welcoming to those of us from away... and there is an incredible bounty of wonderful food, music and art. This is a place I could, in later years, picture Rob and I having an winter-time apartment in the French Quarter. Without a doubt... I will be back.

Just a little out of my element...

My wonderful sister Jenny has rented the "Mardi Gras Suite" at the Maison St. Charles Hotel & Suites on St Charles Ave in New Orleans. It is just three blocks from the Clinic, we have a second floor balcony that overlooks the Mardi Gras ParadeRoute of St Charles Ave. The building in which we are staying is one of several owned by the hotel, and is listed on the National Register of Historic Buildings. The street car runs down the middle of St Charles Ave, and for $1 you can ride it into the French Quarter or up to the Garden District.

We have a lovely livingroom area with 12 foot ceilings and french doors that open to our own private balcony, and we each have a private bedroom and bathroom. This is our third night here, and we have one more night after that... and then home on Thursday.

Yesterday we took the streetcar to the French Quarter and walked about three miles. The nurses told me walking is very good - just not to lift anything over 5 lbs (that's hard not to do). So, on their advice, I really pushed myself to do plenty of walking, and today I am feeling pretty tired! We did manage to make it a few blockes up to the Garden District today and look at some beautiful homes and even toured a graveyard. The tombs are all above ground, and I imagine it's a pretty spooky place to go at night.The Center for Reconstructive Breast Surgery, or "The Center" as they call it, takes up an entire block with three large buildings. The middle building is brick, and there are no signs on the exterior except for one that says "The Packard Company, New Orleans". No one passing by would know that there is a world-class private hospital and clinic here, specializing in breast reconstruction.


The entrance is in the back, and limosines can be seen dropping off and picking up patients there throughout the day. When I'm there I feel a little as though I am peeking into a world that I will never live in (nor would I want to). A secret world of wealth populated by people who never fly on commercial airlines or do their own grocery shopping. I peeked in my chart and saw the cost of my surgery: $59,609. I am paying $2,000 out of pocket now, and another $2,000 over 10 months. This price tag does not include the four night stay in the private hospital which is being covered by my insurance. I'm feeling a little like a Reny's shopper who just won a shopping spree at Saks 5th Avenue. Wow! It has been a wonderful experience - and I have been extremely pampered... but I'm ready to take my new boobs and go back to my life in Gardiner, Maine now... and I need to get to Reny's and buy some new bras!

The crotchless girdle

I never knew such a thing existed until I woke up wearing one after surgery: the crotchless girdle. What a strange, uncomfortable, yet wonderfully weird invention. It goes from just above the knees, to the lower part of the ribcage. It is black, made of some type of tightly woven spandex, and is tight, tight, tight. So tight in fact, that it requires assistance to put it on. Thus the crotchless part - making it a bit more practical since I am instructed to wear it for 6 weeks. Good god. I'm allowed to take it off to shower - but it has to be on the rest of the time. It keeps everything on my backside in place while it heals. Practical... but somehow bizarre.

Anyway.... I'm feeling quite better today. Have done a lot of roaming around the halls, and have even taken a second shower and dressed in "normal" clothing. It's a little hard to look normal, however, with four drain pouches tucked under the front of my shirt. I feel a little like a gunslinger with four concealed weapons. I'm off all medication except one pain pill every 6 hours. I expect to get off of that in the next day or so. When am I allowed to start drinking wine?

I've been treated very, very well here, and the accommodations are really quite nice. More like a spa than a hospital... but I am ready to leave. I'm waiting for a partner of Dr. Sullivan's (Dr. Masey) to stop by my room this afternoon and pronounce me ready to be discharged. Jenny and I will then move to a hotel down the street, and I'm looking forward to getting my first good night's sleep in a week.

Things are looking up. Today I had a shower (and washed my hair THANK GOD) and had my IV taken out. The catheter came out yesterday - and I've also lost those pressure cuffs around my legs. Phew!! When it was time for a shower today I had both Rob and my nurse Donna helping me. It was the first time I got a good look at my new girls. Even with the swelling and the puckered incision lines - they look fantastic. The are very symmetrical and have a very nice shape. I expect that when the swelling is gone, I'll end up with a B+. Woooo Hoooo!! The skin is soft and warm, and I can just picture where the nipples will eventually end up (phase 2). I have to admit that on Thursday I was wondering if all this was worth it - but today I'm feeling like it was. A few days of feeling uncomfortable is a worthwhile price to pay to have a "normal" looking body again.

Yesterday Rob hiked around the city quite a bit and saw several really nice galleries and sculpture gardens. He splurged and bought a hardcover book detailing one of the sculptors he was admiring. Can't remember the name right now... such is my brain. Rob just left to catch his flight home to Maine, and I expect Jenny to arrive here later thisafternoon. I'll be here at the hospital one more night, and then we will be at a hotel close by for a few days. On Wednesday I have an appointment with the surgeon and will get the chest drains removed, as well as the doppler wires taken out. Then I'll come home on Thursday with just the two drains from my butt inscisions. Those will stay in another 3 weeks or so, and I'll have them taken out in Maine.

I miss all of you, and my dog and kitties. Send me emails or blog comments if you have time, it's really nice to hear from you.

Friday

In a word, yesterday was sucky. I was weak and dizzy all day. Turns out that my blood cell counts were very low. After getting two pints of blood yesterday evening and night I am feeling quite a bit better. I just sat on the edge of my bed and had breakfast. My gaol today is to get strong enough to get up to the bathroom by myself and have this damn catheter taken out. I'd also really like to have a shower, but that might be pushing it. Feeling like I have Micky Roarke hair right now... not a good look.

I'm still a little drugged out from the morphine - so please excuse the mess as I attempt a new blog entry.

Dr Sullivan says the surgery went very well yesterday. It is pretty cool to look down the fromt of my johnnys and see two nice new boobs there! I am in a small amount of discomfort - but not in pain. I sat up on the edge of the bed this morning with the help of Rob and a nurse named Laurie. I am feeling very weak and somewhat dizzy but I think it is because of the anesthesia and the morphine. I will drink lots of water today to try and flush the drugs out of my system.

Rob is a wonderful caregiver. Poor guy did not get a good rest last night because of nurses coming in every hour to check 0n me. I have a lot of tubes and wires sticking out of me. Four drains (one for each boob and one on each hip). I also have an IV, oxygen tube and a cathetor (handy for not having to get out of bed every ten minutes to pee. There are also blood pressure cuffs around each calf, which automatically inflate and deflate every couple of minutes to help keep leg circulation good and prevent blood clots from forming. Additionaly I have a wire comimg out of each breast that has doppler ability when hooked up to a special machine.
The pupose of these is to make sure that bloods flowing well to and from my transplanted tissue. So far so good!

I really appreciate all the positive, healing energy that all of you are sending my way. I'll be up and around in no time at all.

Wednesday 1AM

We had a really good day yesterday.

After breakfast at Dot's Cafe we took a cab to the Cafe Dumonde in the French Quarter and had Beignets and Cafe Au Lait.

We walked all around the French Quarter and enjoyed the beautiful architecture, the sights on Bourbon Street, the live music and the shops. It really is a beautiful old city with amazing history. Here are a few more pictures from our walk around town - and the Lotus appears to be a NOLA police car. Cool.

At 1pm we were picked up by a "limo" and brought to the hospital where I'm having my surgery. It is on St.Charles Ave, in the Garden District, and is attached to the Center for Reconstructive Breast Surgery's Clinic. I had seen pictures on line, and talked with people who have been there, but I was still surprised when I walked inside. It was like entering a very ritzy spa. Modern but inviting furnishings and decor, bleached wood floors, marble and tile. There wer fresh flowers as well as paintings and photographs of water (not nearly as nice as my mother's, but an acceptable attempt at tasteful wall art).

We checked in with the woman at the front desk and filled out paperwork. I started feeling a bit anxious, and a little agitated. A very nice nurse named Sally came and got us, and her friendliness helped to put me at ease. We met in a private room with her, and then with the Anesthesiologist. They explained the procedure to us, and while we'd read about it and I had talked with people about it, it was good to review it again. We went over my medical history some more, and then Sally gave us a tour of the hospital.

There are only 17 rooms, and each room has one private bed, and another bed that can be pulled out of a wall closet for a guest to sleep in. The rooms, like the rest of the facility, were new, spotlessly clean, and nicely decorated. A big screen flat panel TV sat on one wall, and there is a large private bathroom with shower in each room. Meals are delivered for one or two people to the room, and we were told that the food is good.

After the tour, Rob went back to the lobby to wait, while I went for my CAT scan (not a PET as I had previously posted). I changed into scrubs and Sally started an IV. Then I lay on my stomach on the narrow CAT scan table. Blood pressure cuffs where put around both my thighs, and tightened to keep the blood flow in my abdomen and buttocks area. Contrast was injected through the IV as the CAT scan took pictures of the blood vessels. As the dye was injected, it felt like walking into a hot, hot sauna - only the heat came from the inside of me. It only lasted about 30 seconds, and then it was over. Pretty easy. The whole procedure took about half an hour.

Then I got dressed and met Rob down in the lobby. By that time it was almost 3:30 - time to meet my surgeon for the first time, Dr. Sullivan.

We walked next door to the clinic, and again were impressed when we entered the facilty. Behind the reception desk was a large atrium lobby with a thin sheet-like waterfall cascading down one wall. We were given more paperwork to fill out, but before I could get beyond writing my name, we were called into a small meeting room to meet with Dr. Sullivan.

He was younger than I thought he would be: probably early 40's. Built like a football player, and a good looking guy. He made good eye contact, and had a firm handshake. Within the first few minutes of conversation, I started feeling better. I like this guy. He's smart and he seems very honest. He described the surgery while he sketched on a piece of paper, and we listened intently.

He explained that first my chest area will be "prepared" be creating pockets for my new breasts. A small piece of cartilage will be removed from each side of my sternum to access a blood vessel needed for blood supply to the transferred tissue. Then I'll be turned onto my stomach, and he and another surgeon will harvest two pieces of fatty tissue and skin from my upper buttock/hip areas. These pieces will be weighed, to make sure they are the same size, the incisions will be closed, and I'll be turned back over. The harvested tissue will be transferred to my chest to form two new breasts. The blood vessels will be connected, and everything sewn up nice and neat. The whole surgery will take approximately 7 hours.

After the consultation in the office, I changed into a johnny and some underpants they provided and had a photo shoot. I was a little disappointed that there was no loud disco music or a big fan to blow my hair back. There was also no photographer yelling "YES! YES! YES!" at me.... just a nice nurse who politely asked me to stand in various poses while she took my "before" pictures. I'd post them here, but I think there was something in the blog spot agreement about not doing that.

Then we went to an exam room and Dr. Sullivan took a blue magic marker and drew all over me. He drew where my new boobs are going to be, and where he is planning to take them from. He has a very good understanding that I'm after a natural look - and not after big boobs. He says I will probably end up with a B cup or maybe a little larger. Fine by me. He also used a small, hand held Doppler devise to listen to blood flow in my donor sites. He seemed quite pleased that I had several good blood vessels to choose from in each area. After being drawn all over, it was back to the photo shoot for some more sexy pictures.

By now it was almost 5pm, and I hadn't had anything to eat since the Beignets at 10am. We reviewed, and I signed a series of consent forms and insurance paperwork, and we met the limo driver back in the lobby of the clinic. He took us back down to the French Quarter and we had dinner at the Crescent City Brew Pub. The beer was good and the food was outstanding. I had the Louisiana soft shell crab with roasted red pepper and artichoke. Rob had a pan seared red fish with fried oysters and a butter/pepper sauce. It was a fabulous meal, and for dessert we shared a piece of the most delicious chocolate pecan pie either of us has ever tasted. There was a live jazz band playing and lots of local artwork on the walls. A really wonderful meal, and I would recommend the restaurant to anyone visiting New Orleans.

After dinner we walked along Decatur street to the Cigar Factory, a place that Rob read about in one of his cigar magazines. He picked out a couple of cigars for his birthday, and enjoyed one at the store, and saved the other one for later.

After a little more walking around we decided to get a cab back to the Hope Lodge and turn in. I managed to get a few hours of sleep, but am wide awake now. A limo will be picking us up in about 3 hours and taking us to the hospital. I will not post again today - but will try to get Rob to do so after I come out of surgery. I am excited.

Tuesday Morning

We arrived in New Orleanes last night at 5:30 central time. A limo brought us to the Hope Lodge which is run by the American Cancer Society. We are staying here for free, and everyone is incredibly welcoming and friendly. Our room has two double beds and a private bath. There is a community kitchen and dining area, a sitting room and a small library with computer access. There is also a seperate laundry area on each floor. Guests clean up after themselves and do their own laundry and the place is incredibly clean and neat.

The Saints played a game in town last night and everyone here was watching or listening. There were Saints jersies and caps everywhere - and this morning we hear that the celebration of the big win is continuing down town. We walked to Dot's Diner, just a block from here, for a breakfast of eggs and grits. In a few minutes we will catch a bus downtown to the French Quarter, and do some sight seeing. After lunch we'll make our way to the Garden district where the hospital is. I have an appointment at 2pm for a PET scan to see the blood flow in my butt - and then an consultation with Dr. Sullivan at 3:30pm. After that we'll go back downtown and I'll take Rob out to dinner for his birthday (52 today!).

As I sit here writing this, a young girl of 9 is typing on a computer next to me. She is the size of a six year old with skinny, stick like arms and legs. She has a crocheted pink cap on, and a surgical mask over her nose and mouth. I feel foolish and ashamed for being so concerned about reconstructive surgery... but logically I know it has nothing to do with what she is going through.
It just seems really unfair. There are a dozen or so people staying here at Hope Lodge, and I am one of the few lucky ones who have put this disease behind me. Susan, the woman who volunteers at the front desk had breast cancer four years ago, and reconstructive surgery at the Breast Center two years ago. She says it turned her from a catapillar into a butterfly. She assures me that I am in very good hands.

Off we go to catch the bus down town. I'll be taking plenty of pictures and hopefully will be able to post them later.

Monday Nov 2

Today is the day we leave for New Orleans. Sleep was elusive last night, as I am excited and a little bit apprehensive. Everything is organized for the trip. Daughter Michelle is staying at the house to care for the animals, and is also covering for me at work (thank you honey!!). Our flight leaves at noon from Portland and we should arrive in New Orleans at 5:30. The clinic is going to send a limo to pick us up and take us to the hotel!
I can't wait to see the city and experience the sights and sounds. And I can't wait to meet my surgeon. A man who I have read about and heard about. A person who would be easy to idolize as a sculptor of human flesh and a pioneer in the medical field of reconstructive surgery - but a person who is just a person and not a god. It is important that I feel good about him - that I feel I can trust him completely. If I meet him and don't like him... then what? I'll turn around and come home I suppose. His name is Scott Sullivan and I've heard that he is a "perfectionist" as well as a "caring, compassionate person". My first appointment with him is tomorrow, so I will find out then.